UNDERSTANDING WHY FALLING IN LOVE CAN BE SO PAINFUL

UNDERSTANDING WHY FALLING IN LOVE CAN BE SO PAINFUL……………..

At one point in our lifetime, every single one of us will fall madly and deeply in love with another person. The feelings, happiness, enthusiastic child-like joy and renewed passion for living life, can all be felt in abundance, leaving us content with having found our own sense of heaven on earth. So, why is this same happiness experienced during love also the cause of so much misery and sadness in one’s life as well? Love creates compassion and unity with another being; ego craves for individuality and a sense of separation from the rest of the world. Here lies the root of relationship conflicts, and explains why falling in love can cause us so much inner pain. When a relationship breaks up, many times we blame the “other” person for all the problems we faced, and fall into despair when they cannot reciprocate the way we want them to love us. Our hearts dictate that our partner should think, feel, speak, love and honour exactly the way we want. Our partner is expected to be in totally tuned in with our own thoughts. Ego on the other hand can only exist when it becomes rooted in a sense of individuality. Ego determines; “I think…, I speak…, I feel…, I love… etc for myself and no one else.” This constant battle between these two internal facts is ultimately what can wear us down, and turn the beautiful experience of love into a painful and miserable experience. If your lover is already a part of you, how could you ever feel hurt or pain with whatever he or she does? Whether your lover reciprocates your feelings, or whether they reject your advances, it really does not matter. It’s our very own sense of identity and expectations which causes our own misery. Falling in love is perhaps one of the most life-defining moments any of us will ever have, yet so little is understood about what really happens during the whole process.

                                Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres…its hardly love these days.. its all more virtual/shortlived … times have changed n so have the importance of feelings like love etc .. Expectations…. in short its a fast world… Secondly, without pain one does not know what is happiness.. If we deny love that is given to us, if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss, then our lives will be empty, our loss greater…    

                                                                Love cannot be associated with pain, because love is unconditational, it is giving in without any expectations, it becomes painful when one has certain expectations from the other that is when one is disappointed hence is hurt. Love is the purest & the most beautiful emotion …